One of her children is killed crossing the street on their own even after telling their mother that they were afraid to cross the busy street alone. A living amend might include a posthumous promise to the deceased child to, from now on, make it a point to walk their surviving siblings to the bus stop each day. At FHE Health, you’ll learn more about Step 9 and how to handle the worst of experiences.

Tips For Growing Up My 20 Years of Recovery

Because, based on experience, many recovering individuals have relapsed when they allowed their fears to keep them from doing Step Nine. Dr. Bob, one of our original founders could not stay sober until he went around town and made amends to all those he had hurt. When it comes to making amends to others, there are usually a lot of fears and expectations involved. We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes.

Step 9: The Best 5 Tips for Living Amends

In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power. The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. For many who lived in addiction, apologizing was a regular habit. Whether it was apologizing for being late for work, missing an event, misusing property or stealing money to support an addiction, expressing remorse was likely a daily occurrence.

FIRST PERSON: How the High Holidays reflect my sobriety journey – The Jewish News of Northern California

FIRST PERSON: How the High Holidays reflect my sobriety journey.

Posted: Wed, 30 Aug 2023 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Making Amends: How to Approach Step 9 AA… and When Not To

living amends big book

One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die. Many individuals know that they need to apologize to someone they love but fail to do so out of pride or ego. As a result, the opportunity is lost to make things right if that person dies before they can apologize.

living amends big book

Healing the Body, Mind, and Spirit

He’s a teenager, so I try to let him function at that age level. When he runs out of clean clothes, I don’t lecture or offer solutions. I let him decide if he wants to do laundry at midnight or wear dirty clothes.

Step Nine Spiritual Principles: Always A Good Day For Humble Pie

The driver’s seat is the only open space, as the interior is cluttered with takeout cartons and empty coffee cups. To follow Ms. Duvall, 74, on the road and in conversation, is to enter into powerfully imaginative realms. Stories that begin in a certain direction have a habit of taking the scenic route, and, occasionally, swerving excitingly off-piste.

But beware of others that sell the book marked up 400% or more. For the same money, you could buy 4 books living amends and use 3 as sponsee gifts. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

living amends big book

  • Well, there are no half measures, and it ain’t easy… if it were easy, everyone would be doing it!
  • We may be afraid about making financial amends, or afraid of rejection, retaliation and a host of other doubtful outcomes.
  • To discern whether to make amends, ask yourself why you’re wanting to contact the person.
  • Rushing into an amend that could bring hardship to our unsuspecting family, or to other third parties, is another mistake that people sometimes make.

I am very sorry for stealing money out of your desk in order to fund my drug habit last year. Remembering how I stole from you makes me sad and fills me with shame. While I did these things in active addiction, that does not take away from how wrong they were, and the pain and sense of betrayal you must have felt as a result of my actions. Direct amends refers to going directly to the wronged individual, apologizing and taking whatever action is necessary to correct a situation. If an individual damaged someone else’s home while they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, direct amends may require that they go to the property owner, apologize and repair damages.

Don’t Hold Back—It’s Too Easy to Get Out of This Step